


"and that was enough to make me feel infinite"

by icebucky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, M/M, Marauders, everyone is happy, homeschooled remus, i love my kids, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9214136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icebucky/pseuds/icebucky
Summary: It’s not every day that some teenager runs into Grimmauld Place like there’s – oh, shit, he’s being chased by the police.Sirius has every intention of sitting this one out; he’s gotten into enough trouble with the law in his life, and he has places to be. Sure, the only place he’s actually meaning to get to is James’ house, but it’s better than nothing. But despite his plan, when the boy catches sight of him, they make eye contact and he’s immediately making a beeline right for Sirius’ bike.Before he knows it, there’s a body right behind him and arms tight around his waist and a voice in his ear yelling, “Drive, drive, drive, drive, fucking drive!”His instinct kicks in and at the same time his foot kicks the bike to life and they are off down the street before Sirius is even fully aware of what’s happening.-aka remus is in a protest outside of the ministry in london and sirius is leaving and they meet for the first time bc this is an au where remus was homeschooled instead of going to hogwarts. shenanigans ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> be gentle with me. this is the first marauders fic i've ever written but i love my sons more than i love life itself. feedback is always appreciated. hmu on twitter @siriusorioff.
> 
> fic is based on that one tumblr post talking about how the person's grandparents met; grandma was in a protest and was running from the police and she jumped on the back of grandpa's bike and told him to "fucking drive" and that's how they met

Sirius knows the day is going to be distinctly wilder than usual as soon as that boy comes running around the corner.

He's just coming down the steps with the last of his shit, his ears still ringing from his mother's screaming and his father's silence, when the other boy comes tearing around the corner, looking like he's running as fast as his legs can possibly carry him. His arms are pumping and he has a look on his face that makes Sirius want to either stop and watch or get out of his way.

He doesn't do either, just straps his bag to the back of his motorbike and swings his leg over, watching in amusement. It's not every day that some teenager runs into Grimmauld Place like there's - oh, shit, he's being chased by the police.

Sirius has every intention of sitting this one out; he's gotten into enough trouble with the law in his life, and he has places to be. Sure, the only place he's actually meaning to get to is James' house, but it's better than nothing. But despite his plan, when the boy catches sight of him, they make eye contact and he's immediately making a beeline right for Sirius' bike.

Before he knows it, there's a body right behind him and arms tight around his waist and a voice in his ear yelling, "Drive, drive, drive, drive,  _fucking drive!_ "

His instincts kick in and at the same time his foot kicks the bike to life and they are off down the street before Sirius is even fully aware of what's happening.

There's shouting behind them and once they've made it two streets away, Sirius feels the body behind him relax and suddenly, sharply, he veers into an alley, bringing the bike to a screeching halt.

He twists his body to glare at the boy sitting behind him, who has delicately removed his hands from Sirius' waist and is now looking at him sheepishly. "What the fuck was that?" Sirius asks, furrowing his brow. "Who are you?"

The other boy coughs, more out of embarrassment than anything else, Sirius speculates, and mutters, "Remus Lupin."

He doesn't  _look_ like the running-from-the-police type, but then again, neither does Wormtail, and Sirius has been there to see those crimes taking place. But this guy is kind of skinny and has messy light brown hair and wears a cardigan, and something about him makes Sirius want to take him to go put Snape's underwear in a tree or something. A weird thought, sure, but it's what crosses his mind.

For half a second, Sirius thinks about shouting at him to get off his bike, but changes his mind. "Why're you running from the police, Remus Lupin?"

Remus opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but pauses, seeming to rethink, then says, "I'm not in real trouble."

At this, Sirius gets off the bike himself, but more so that he can actually have a real conversation rather than twisting at an uncomfortable angle. "Neither am I, but you didn't tell me what was actually going on." After a moment of silence, he continues, "Here, I'll start. I'm Sirius Black. The bag you're sitting on has the last of my stuff from my parents' house before I move out for good. I'm going to my mate Prongs' place to stay with him."

Another pause. "It's not that hard, you know."

"I know," Remus snaps back, suddenly, and Sirius' mouth turns up a little at the corner at hearing him fire back like that. "Just maybe I wouldn't like to tell a stranger what I'm up to."

"Why?" Sirius asks, and he knows he's being flippant and obnoxious, but he doesn't care. "I aided and abetted a criminal, I'd like to know that it's worth the risk."

Remus narrows his eyes at him, and then mutters, "I was in a protest."

Sirius just raises his eyebrows at him, and after another pause, Remus continues, "You know, they were trying to break it up. They didn't like us causing a disturbance."

"Ah," Sirius replies, "I was expecting something a bit more interesting, like streaking in the park, but it looks like I underestimated you."

"Well," Remus begins, the corners of his mouth starting to dart upwards in a smile, "I may have, uh, shown my ass to the police."

There's a half second of pause, before Sirius bursts out laughing, eventually gasping out, "Mate, if you were in my group of friends, you'd get a nickname for that."

"Really?" Remus looks interested at that, a full grin on his face now. "What would you call me?"

It only takes him a moment - he was the one who came up with Prongs and Wormtail, after all - this is nothing. "Moony," he proclaims, and in response to Remus' head tilt of confusion, he adds on, "because you - you mooned the police."

Remus - or Moony, as Sirius has now decided to call him - laughs at that, a kind of embarrassed laugh that makes him duck his head and has Sirius staring at the way the light catches his eyelashes. He clears his throat. "Anyway, uh, do you need me to drop you somewhere? I don't know if you live near here -"

"No," Remus interrupts, swinging his leg over the bike and standing, pausing for a minute to try and reshape Sirius' bag. "No, it's okay, I can get there myself. Thanks for the ride, though."

Sirius frowns, eyebrows scrunching together as Remus shoves his hands in his pockets. "You sure? No offense, but how fast can you run if the police see you again?"

Remus' mouth twists into a frown at that, replying, "Look, I know I'm kinda skinny, but I'm not dead."

"Whatever you say, Moony," Sirius says, sitting down and starting the bike again, "but you're more than welcome to come to Prongs' house if you need to hide out."

Remus looks wary, shifting his weight a little before he finally says, "I don't want to get in the way."

"Nah, you won't." Sirius waits until Remus sits behind him before adding, "So, you  _are_ a wizard, right? I mean, I heard about the protest but I didn't think Muggles were involved at all."

He feels Remus' chest huff against his back with a soft laugh. "Yeah, I assumed you knew. Don't worry, you won't have to modify my memory or anything."

"Great, 'cause I've always been shit at that. C'mon, Mrs. Potter always has food." He revs the engine and tries to keep his smile under wraps when Remus' arms tighten around his waist and they take off in the direction of James' house.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius hasn't had to knock at the Potters' for years, and today is no different; he just slips his key out of his pocket and ducks inside the back door, gesturing for Remus to follow him over the threshold. "Prongs?" he calls, greeted with an affirmative-sounding shout from the general vicinity of the upstairs. "So it looks like you'll get to meet him."

"I'm looking forward to it," Remus replies, a hint of something that sounds rather like amusement coloring his voice, and when Sirius turns back to look at him, he sees the taller boy running a hand through his tousled brown hair, a small smile lingering around the corners of his mouth. "Your friends seem legendary, from what you've told me. Also, you somehow neglected to tell me that your bike flies."

Sirius huffs a mostly silent laugh and apology in response, then hops up to sit on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs in an almost juvenile way. There's a moment of silence, and he opens his mouth to ask Remus something, when there's the sound of someone descending the steps and James practically bounces into the room, stopping short as soon as he sees Remus.

"Who's this?" he asks, not unkindly, eyes running over Remus in a way that's mostly curious rather than closed off. "You didn't tell me you were bringing home your gentleman caller, Pads."

"Shut up," Sirius replies easily, reaching over to the bowl of fruit on the counter next to him and chucking the first round object he grabs at James' head. It turns out to be a peach, which James catches easily. Damn Quidditch reflexes, Sirius supposes he should've expected that. "This's Remus Lupin. We met today. He was running from the police."

"Really?"

"Guilty," Remus says, shrugging, and James grins, picking absently at the sticker on the peach. "Don't worry, it wasn't bad."

"Moony here's an activist," Sirius puts in helpfully, "he was in some sort of protest in London."

" _Really_?" James says again, stepping forward and hopping onto the counter across from Sirius, who pats the spot next to him. Remus climbs up and sits next to him, on a section that Sirius immediately becomes aware is far too small to hold both of them with a comfortable distance between them. His knee knocks against the lanky boy sitting next to him as James continues, "Lily was there today. Evans, that is. I mean, that's what I heard."

Sirius is about to absolutely fucking  _destroy_ James for the nervous way he's talking about Evans - how did he even know this, by the way? - when Remus interjects, "Wait, Lily Evans? Short, red hair, strong opinions?"

"Whoa," James says, eyes widening, "yeah, do you know her?"

Remus shrugs. "Not really. I met her today, though. What, is she your girlfriend?"

James blushes a deep red before replying, "No, I wish. We go to school together." He pauses, then as if he's just realizing it, adds, "Wait, Remus, you're like, our age. How come you don't go to Hogwarts?"

"Oh," Remus says, then coughs. Sirius gets the impression that he's trying his hardest to come up with an answer that doesn't come across in a certain way, though he's not exactly sure what kind of way that would be. "Uh, my - my parents decided to teach me at home because of. Um. I have this thing."

"Are you sick?" Sirius asks, nudging Remus with his shoulder a little, and Remus reaches up to rub at his nose a little bit. "Sorry for prying."

"No, no, it's okay," Remus answers, and Sirius notices he's started to pick almost nervously at the edge of his sleeve. "I'm - yeah, I'm sick. Nothing too bad, though. Hasn't killed me yet." He looks up, giving the other boys a half grin, which falters a little at the worried looks in their eyes. "Really, I'm fine."

"Okay," James says, shrugging it off, "hope you get better, though. Pads, did Wormy say what time he'd be getting here?"

"Wormy?" Remus asks, but Sirius ignores him in favor of answering James with, "No, he -" right as the door opens to what looks like the back of Peter's head.

"Ah, speak of the devil," James announces, chucking the peach at Peter, who doesn't see it coming at all and immediately gets smacked in the head with a piece of fruit. "Pete, why're you coming in backwards?"

"Fuck off," comes a voice faintly from the general direction of Peter's mouth. "I brought the beer and this is how you thank me?"

"And of course, who could forget dear rat boy?" Sirius says, a soft curve pulling the corner of his mouth upwards.

"Oh, this is Peter?" Remus asks, pointing a little bit. "Nice to meet you."

Peter turns around, glaring at James and struggling with the two cases of beer in his arms. "Hi. Sirius doesn't usually bring home cute boys. And Pads, I wish you'd stop introducing me to people as 'rat boy'."

"The truth hurts, rat boy," James puts in, and Remus snorts. "This is Remus. Or, Moony, as Padfoot as decided to call him. By the way, you still never explained that."

Sirius immediately launches into an elaborate and long-winded explanation of how they met and how Remus mooned the police, "- or, I guess they were members of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad? Weren't you guys in front of the entrance to the Ministry?"

"Yep," Remus says, popping his lips a little on the 'p'. "Thought it was the best way to get their attention."

"What were you protesting?" Peter asks, having finally squeezed onto the counter next to James.

"Mistreatment of magical creatures." There's something about the way Remus says it that makes Sirius' thoughts linger on the words, like Remus is trying to make sure they don't notice something. His tone is a little guarded now, and Sirius scrunches his eyebrows a little, trying to figure it out.

"Oh, so like, house elves and shit? That's what Evans was talking about last term."

"Shut up about Evans, Prongs, she's never gonna give you the time of day." Peter sighs, reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. Remus gets the impression that they've had this conversation many times before.

"Hey, I'd like to think we're getting closer."

"Yeah, just because she only swore at you once on the last day of sixth year, that's amazing, James."

"She finally dropped Snivellus, though, that's a plus," Sirius interjects, and James raises a hand in a sort of gesture of gratitude.

" _Thank_ you, Pads. See, Pete, there's hope for me, unlike some rats I know."

"I resent that."

"I'm a little lost," Remus says finally, and Sirius turns to look at him, expression slightly apologetic.

"Okay, Moony, since you're new I'll give you a quick rundown. Prongs here has been basically in love with the same girl for like, six fuckin' years. She thinks he's an arrogant toerag -"

"Hey!"

"- her words, mate, not mine - but he's been  _pining_ for ages. It's exhausting. Meanwhile she's got this slimeball of a best friend, they apparently met before Hogwarts, or something, I don't really give Pete's ass."

"Sirius, that's disgusting."

"Rat's ass, Wormy. You know what I mean. Either way, this guy's a piece of shit and Evans seems to have  _just_ picked up on that, seeing how she left him in the dust. And so Jamesy boy thinks, for some deeply misguided reason, that now there's a shred of hope for him and Little Miss Lily."

There's a pause as Remus digests this. Then he directs his attention to James and says, "You should go for it."

Sirius and Peter groan, the former dramatically smacking his hand against his forehead. "No, that was  _completely_ the wrong response!" Peter almost shouts, and suddenly that same goddamn peach is flying towards Remus' face. "Fuck, now he's  _never_ gonna shut up about it!"

"Sorry," Remus replies, insincerely, batting the peach away, "but honestly, he was gonna go for it anyway, what's the harm in encouraging him?"

"Thanks for that, Moony, it's nice to actually have a  _supportive_ friend," James says, glaring pointedly at Peter and Sirius.

"Alright, fine but you're picking up the pieces when his heart inevitably gets broken," Sirius tells Remus, hopping down from the counter. "I'm off for a smoke." He shoulders his way out of the back door, leaving the other boys still sitting on the counter.

After a moment, Remus says, "He smokes?" and something in his voice must denote another question, because James' grin gets even bigger, if that's possible.

"Yeah, been trying to get him to quit for years, but honestly, Sirius is gonna die young anyway, so what's the point?"

"I think the only one of us that'll live past sixty will be you, Prongs. You and Evans and your ten children and thirty dogs."

"Thirty-one, if you count Padfoot."

"I thought we decided he wasn't going to live that long?"

James snorts. "So, to answer your questions, Moony, yes, he smokes, yes, people find it hot, yes, he's going to die, and yes, he does think you're cute."

"I - I didn't ask... that," Remus stumbles, and he hates how he can feel the heat creeping up his neck and ears and over his cheeks. Dammit, he gets really pink when he blushes, this is so embarrassing. "I mean. Shit."

Peter and James are laughing, but not in a mean way. "Listen, Remus, we've known Sirius a long time," Peter begins, James nodding next to him. "He's got that whole punk rock vibe going on, but really, he's extremely soft. And I don't know if you noticed, but he was giving you some intense lovey-dovey eyes there on the counter. I don't wanna know what went on during the ride on his bike over here, but I mean, he wouldn't bring you if he didn't a. think you were pretty fuckin' cool, or b. already have a crush on you. He just wouldn't."

"Why are you telling me this," Remus asks, but he doesn't say it like a question.

"Because in all honesty, meeting us is like meeting his parents. You'll probably never meet his parents. I've known him since we were eleven and I've met them once. But listen, it's okay if you like him. Just don't hurt him." James pauses, then adds on, "Damn, Pete, we really did tag-team that like parents, maybe I should forget about Lily and go after you instead."

"Get out of my face."

It's quiet for a minute. Remus swings one of his legs out and picks at a cuticle on his thumb. "I'm gonna go."

"Shit. Shit, shit,  _shit_ , we made it weird, didn't we?" James gets down form the counter and stands in front of Remus before he can do the same, the angle making him crane his neck up to meet the other boy's eyes. "Listen, we give this talk to everyone. Or, we would, if any of us had ever dated anyone before. Plot twist, you're in a room full of virgins. We just wanna look out for him."

"He's very self destructive sometimes," Peter puts in helpfully, and James nods.

James' hands are on Remus' knees and Remus feels like he's on the cover of a cheesy romance novel. "You're making weirder. What is this?" he asks, gesturing to James' hands. James' response is to reach up and attempt to tenderly caress Remus' face. "Fuck off," he says, smacking his hand away and getting down from the counter, but they're both giggling like they're ten years old.

"Forget Lily, you should date Remus," Peter says, and just like that, the door opens, and Sirius is back.

"Who's dating Remus?" Sirius asks, a cigarette still in his mouth. Remus knows that James and Peter see the way he watches Sirius' hand as he drags it through his hair, but he doesn't care. He's fucked, his boy is so good-looking.

"I am. You missed a lot while you were outside getting cancer," James says, putting his arm around Remus' waist, and Sirius flips him off. "And you  _know_ what Mum says about smoking in the house."

"Only when I'm on fire, I know."

"Which you fuckin'  _will_ be, if she catches you with that cigarette, Pads, she'll  _incendio_ your ass right out of the kitchen -"

There's the sound of another door opening, then an adult female voice yells, "Sirius Orion Black, if that's cigarette smoke I smell you're going back to Hogwarts  _bald_!"

"Shit!" Sirius says eloquently, then nearly runs out the back door. He's back two seconds later, smoke-free and guilty looking. "No, it wasn't, I don't smoke anymore, you know that, Mum."

"Is that so," a voice says, and a woman that Remus assumes is James' mum comes to the door. "Not only do I smell smoke, I also smell guilt. All of you," she continues, vaguely gesturing to the other boys, "are the worst enablers. Especially you, James Fleamont."

"Fleamont?" Remus asks, looking at James and suppressing a grin.

"It's a family name. At least I don't have a pretentious one like Sirius Orion Black over here."

Sirius glares at him, a  _fuck you_ waiting to be hissed out when Mrs. Potter leaves the room, but he's interrupted as she says, "Both of you, stop it. Who's this?"

"Remus."

"Moony."

"James' boyfriend."

"Shut  _up_ , Pete!"

"I'm Remus Lupin, nice to meet you," he says, disentangling himself from James and shaking Mrs. Potter's hand. She's a small lady, and she seems like she has a very warm heart but also doesn't take any shit. "I, uh, met Sirius today in London."

"It's very nice to meet you, Remus. We have a lot of room, you're welcome to stay the night if you keep  _this_ one," she points at Sirius threateningly, who looks down at his feet, "from smoking and all of them from getting arrested."

Remus stifles a smile, but says, "I'll do my best."

Mrs. Potter smiles then, and pulls him down quickly into a hug. She squeezes him hard, then lets go and steps back. "Alright. You lot be good. Your father and I are going out tonight, but we'll be back late so don't throw a party or you'll  _all_ be hairless come September. Yes, you too, Peter, I know your parents." She leaves the room and heads upstairs, presumably to get ready.

The boys are quiet for a moment, until Remus says, "Is she being serious?"

It takes him half a second to realize his mistake, but Peter immediately groans (that seems to be half his vocalization, Remus notes) and James starts laughing as Sirius adjusts the collar on his leather jacket and says, as though into an invisible camera, "No,  _she_ isn't, but I'm  _always_ Sirius."

"Shut the fuck up."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Moony."

"What?"

"Did you. Did Evans give you any contact information?"

Remus narrows his eyes. "Yeah, I mean, she's Muggle-born, so she gave me her parents' telephone number. Prongs, don't do it -"

"We should invite her over!" he announces, standing, his grin a little sloppy from the two beers he's already had.

They're in James' room upstairs, Sirius smoking next to the open window and sitting on the sill, Peter lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling fan, Remus sitting on James' pillow with his back to the wall, and James making a fool of himself in the center of the room. He nearly steps on Peter's face, but continues, "We  _should_! We could go get her, Padfoot, you have a flying fucking  _motorbike_ , we  _could_ -"

"James, you don't even have a phone, what are you going to call her on?"

James opens his mouth to answer, but Peter shoves his leg out from under him and sits up as James falls down. "Also, how fuckin' stupid is it to invite Lily fuckin' Evans when she doesn't even  _like_ any of us?"

"She likes me," Remus says without thinking ("I like you," Sirius says from across the room, and Remus purposely ignores him), and James sits up and sort of walks on his knees over to him. "No. James,  _no_ , I'm not going to call her."

"Please, please, please, do it for  _me_ , Moony, I like her so much."

"You're a mess and a loser, James," Sirius says around his cigarette, and James picks up a stuffed Golden Snitch and throws it at his head. He misses, and the Snitch flies out the open window. Sirius makes an incredulous face and adds, "Your aim has gone to hell over the summer, I can't believe you play for Gryffindor."

"Shut up."

"What position?" Remus asks interestedly, and James opens his mouth but Sirius cuts him off.

"He plays Chaser. Moony can call her if he wants to. Do you want to?"

Peter is shaking his head vehemently, Sirius just looks amused, and James is still sitting on the floor, looking like he's had too much to drink. His alcohol tolerance must be really low, Remus thinks.

"I'll call her under two conditions. Prongs, get your shit together. If a girl's coming over you gotta at least be presentable. Don't fuck this up. Padfoot, you gotta take me to use a payphone."

"Done and done," James replies, and Sirius grinds out his cigarette and flicks it out the window. "Wormtail, assist me in getting to the bathroom. I have to take a cold shower."

"Fuckin' lightweight," Peter grumbles, but stands and pulls James to his feet anyway.

Remus looks over at Sirius, still sitting on the windowsill, one leg up on it and the moonlight coming in from behind him. The Potters live in a little cottage in a small town, Remus didn't even pay enough attention on the trip over to know the name of it, but he's very aware of the lack of city lights outside and the way the soft silver light of the moon and stars catches in Sirius' hair. He looks very illuminated and almost unreal, and half of Remus wants to punch him for daring to be that attractive.

Sirius sniffs a little and rubs at his nose, the swings his leg off of the windowsill and stands. "So, you ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah," Remus says, standing. Sirius grabs his jacket from where he threw it earlier, and frowns when he looks back at Remus. "What?"

"It's just - it's cold."

Remus raises an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. "That's what happens when the sun goes down, Pads."

"Come on. You know what I mean. Your flimsy little sweater isn't gonna cut it."

"It is not flimsy! You're flimsy."

"Your face is flimsy."

"Your dick -"

"What the fuck is going  _on_ in here?" Peter says, poking his head back in the door. "Aren't you assholes supposed to be calling Evans?"

"Moony was insulting my dick."

"I don't care. Just do me a solid and hurry the fuck up. Prongs won't stop talking. He's in the shower and I can  _still_ hear him talking."

Peter leaves. Sirius says, "He swears a lot more when he's been drinking."

"I noticed."

"Just take the fucking jacket, okay? Please?"

"Fine," Remus replies, trying and failing to sound annoyed. It's probably something to do with the fact that his mouth is starting to curl up into a soft smile and when he puts on the leather jacket it smells like cigarettes and boy and Sirius and he feels like an American high school girl wearing her greaser boyfriend's leather jacket. For god's sake, it even says PADFOOT across the back.

"Well, aren't you adorable," Sirius says, exaggerating the words as though he's trying to come off more casually, but there's something in his eyes that says he actually means it.

Remus feels his heart beating a little fast a little too high in his throat but he manages to reply, "You're a dirty fuckin' liar, Sirius Black."

Sirius grins. "Come on, I'll take you to the nearest payphone."


	4. Chapter 4

They don't even drive this time, Sirius has a vague memory of the nearest payphone being on the end of James' street, just before you get to the main road. As they leave, they can hear James singing (terribly, and off-key) in the shower and Peter yelling at him to shut up, and out of the corner of his eye Sirius can see Remus stifling a laugh.

His mouth still curls up into a suppressed smile, which Sirius finds a lot cuter than he thinks he's supposed to.

On the street, the stars are out, and the moon is a bright sliver in the sky. Remus looks up at it like it's personally offended him before shoving his hands into the pockets of Sirius' jacket and looking for direction. "So, which way?"

"Uh, I think it's this way. Towards the main road."

Remus raises an eyebrow. "You don't even know, do you?"

Sirius raises his hands in a sort of shrugging defense. "Hey, wizards don't use phones, you know that! Why the fuck would I know how it even works?"

Remus shakes his head. "You're hopeless. You would think wizards and witches are living in the Dark Ages. Honestly, this is just sad."

Sirius doesn't reply right away, until he says, "Not as sad as Prongs getting drunk off of two beers. What a lightweight."

Remus snorts, walking ahead a little bit. "Merlin,  _I'm_ not even that bad."

"I'm sure you're very good," Sirius answers before he can stop himself, and he can't even control the fucking undertone he puts into that goddamn sentence, he didn't mean for it to sound suggestive, but the way Remus is looking at him over his shoulder is telling him that's how it came across.  _I'm sure you're very good_ \- what the fuck was that about? Why couldn't he have just said it normally? Shit, that was the weirdest fucking thing he's done today so far, and now -

"Thanks for your confidence in me," Remus just replies smoothly, turning so he's stopped walking and he's just looking at Sirius with a half-soft, half-calculating expression. "I'm sure you're good too."

In all honesty Sirius is surprised he can even speak normally, but he hears himself say (far more smoothly than he was expecting), "I guess you'll have to find out, then."

"I guess I will."

They keep walking, and the air between them isn't exactly tense, it's more hovering with something. Sirius speeds up so that he's walking next to Remus again, and the moonlight is making Remus' profile glow with a soft silver light, and god, Sirius doesn't think he's ever wanted to kiss someone as badly as he does now.

He doesn't, though. He doesn't kiss him or make any sort of move towards Remus. He doesn't do anything but think about it, let his eyes drop down to Remus' mouth when he looks at him, still slightly over his shoulder. Sirius doesn't allow himself to indulge in these kinds of thoughts, not even for this beautiful boy, because the only person he's kissed in his entire life is James, who he trusts with his entire being, and that was only for practice.

_They were eleven, sitting across from each other with their legs folded on James' four-poster in Gryffindor tower, the curtains around the bed drawn and Sirius' wand lit. It was late, they should've gone to sleep hours ago, but they'd stated up talking far longer than Peter and Frank had been awake._

_There'd been a break in the conversation, a slight lull, and Sirius had blurted out, "Have you ever kissed anyone?"_

_James had laughed a little, ducking his head. "No, what age are you supposed to know how to kiss anyway?"_

_"I dunno."_

_"Me either."_

_"How are we supposed to learn if we're also supposed to already be good at it the first time?"_

_James was picking at his thumbnail. "I guess we gotta find someone to practice with."_

_"That's stupid."_

_"No, it isn't. You're just scared to kiss anyone."_

_"I am not!"_

_"So kiss me, then."_

_Sirius had stopped, then raised his chin in an almost haughty way that he'd seen his cousin do when she was insecure. James had looked at him unwaveringly, arms crossed, glasses flashing a little in the wandlight. He took a deep breath, then rushed out, "Can you just - I don't know how to do it."_

_"And you think I do?"_

_"Shut up, I just wanna learn."_

_"That's a first."_

_"Do you want to kiss me or not, asshole?"_

"What are you thinking about?" he hears, and breaks out of the memory.

"Oh. Uh, kissing."  _Not a good cover, Pads._ Sirius wants to kick himself.

Remus snorts, shaking his head a little as he laughs. Sirius can see the telephone booth up ahead of them, at the end of the block, and out of the corner of his eye watches Remus readjust his hands in the jacket pockets. "Any kiss in particular? You know, because I'm sure you've had so many."

"Yeah, of course," Sirius says, skipping forward and spinning around, a smirk on his face. "I'm a veritable kissing  _machine._ You better watch out, Moony, or I'll be coming for you next."

"Well, if someone of your skill is offering to kiss me, who am I to refuse?"

Sirius laughs, and stops walking backwards. Remus slows down too, matching their paces so that they're in sync again. After a pause, he adds, "No, I was actually thinking about my first kiss. Weird, I know, but it was with James."

He does not look at Remus. He does not want to see Remus' reaction if he thinks that's weird or wrong or disgusting. He does not want to see Remus look at him differently for kissing boys, for liking boys, for liking one boy in particular.

But there's no change in Remus' voice, no delay, no hesitation as he replies, "That's not weird. I mean, yeah, maybe it's a little strange to kiss your best mate, but hey, I'm not surprised."

"Why not?"

Remus frowns a little then, as though he'd never considered why. "I don't know. It just seems like you guys are close enough that it wouldn't change anything."

After a pause, Sirius says, "Yeah, you're right."

They reach the phone booth. Remus opens it up and is about to step inside, but instead he leans on the door, hanging out of it so that his face is pretty damn close to Sirius', and Sirius finds himself holding his breath and hoping to god that he won't make himself look like an idiot, no matter what Remus says or does next.

The taller boy looks down, as though he's thinking, and then says, "Did you ever kiss Peter?"

For half a second, Sirius is so taken aback by the question that he doesn't respond, then his laugh starts out as a cough. When he finally surfaces from hacking up a lung, Remus is grinning at him and looking radiant in the moonlight, and Sirius replies, " _God,_ no, he wishes he was that lucky."

Remus' grin faces a little then, and he says, so quickly it seems as though the words are tearing out of his mouth, tripping over each other on their way from thoughts to sound waves, "So do I."

Then he ducks inside the phone booth and slams the door shut, and all Sirius can see is the rosy pink flush coloring high on his cheekbones.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am back,, after thirty years of not writing,, here i am with another chapter in which i put off writing lily's friends for Yet Another Section ,, enjoy, kids

"What the - Moony!" Remus can hear Sirius half-shout from outside the telephone booth, and he ignores him in favor of dialing Lily's number. "You can't just say something like that and leave me hanging!"

"I'm on the phone, Sirius!" he replies, hating how he can feel the tingling heat still prickling on his cheeks.

"Bullshit," Remus hears, softer, but closer, and he jumps a little, dropping the receiver; Sirius has pushed the door open a little, just enough so that he no longer sounds muffled. "It's not even doing anything, you just don't want to deal with what you just said."

The look on Sirius' face is one of defiance; he's wearing an expression that seems to constantly be making a home in his features, his jaw set and his eyebrows low, but a certain vulnerability is curled in the angle of his mouth, a soft hope nestled in his eyes, and Remus is about to grab him by the front of his shirt and kiss him until neither of them can breathe when the phone stops ringing and he hears a faint, "Hello?"

"Shit," Remus hisses, before picking the receiver back up and holding it to his ear. "Lily?"

"Who - Remus?"

"Yeah, uh. Hi. Um, this is weird, but -"

"HEY, EVANS!" Sirius shouts, making Remus jump and nearly drop the phone again, while nudging his way into the phone booth.

"Oh, god, please tell me I did not just hear Sirius Black."

"Goddammit, Pads," Remus says under his breath, and he knows Lily heard him.

"They recruited you, didn't they," Lily asks, and Remus can practically see her crossing her arms and tossing her long red hair over her shoulder. "Jesus, why am I surprised, you'd sure as hell be with them if you went to Hogwarts."

"Thanks?" Remus replies, then sucks in his breath quite a bit as Sirius makes it all the way into the phone booth. His body is pressed up against Remus', and Sirius has to brace one arm behind him in order to stand without losing his balance and completely falling on him. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus can see an old lady walking past and giving them a bizarre look.

He gets why - he's pretty sure it looks like they're involved in some kind of romantic tryst.

As if on fucking cue, Sirius leans in and says in an almost-whisper, voice intentionally low so that it'll make goosebumps rise on Remus' skin, "So, we were talking of kissing."

Remus nearly lets out an actual yelp at that, but he settles for giving Sirius a look that he hopes conveys  _shut the fuck up_ and clears his throat before speaking into the phone. "So, Lily, um. Fun story, I'm at James Potter's place and we wanted to know if you wanted to come over."

Sirius is fucking leaning in so close right now, his nose brushing Remus' neck, and Remus turns to meet his eyes and has to bite his lip so that he doesn't kiss him. "Smooth," Sirius murmurs, the corner of his mouth curling upwards, and Remus tries his damnedest to ignore him.

"You mean James wanted to know if I'd come over."

"He really likes you," Remus replies, only somewhat apologetically.

There's a pause on the other end, and this time when Sirius leans in Remus thinks it's to get in better earshot of the phone.

"Yeah, why the hell not, I guess," Lily replies, and Sirius lets out a shout of laughter almost immediately after she finishes speaking. "Shut up, Black. What's the address?"

Sirius reaches around Remus to grab the phone and rattles it off, easily bantering with Lily about who she's going to bring with her (she isn't sure), how they were going to travel (their fireplace is set up for Floo), and if she needed him to come and get her on his bike ("Not on your life, Sirius." "Okay, just checking.").

"See you later, Remus."

"Yeah, sounds good, see you soon." He hangs up the phone - with difficulty, seeing as Sirius is still pressed up against him - and turns in the direction of the door.

"Hi."

"Hey."

Sirius opens his mouth like he's going to say more, but there's a sharp rap on the glass that makes Remus automatically jerk away and Sirius swear, and they look out to see that same fucking old lady as before, only this time she's glaring directly at them and muttering something unintelligible under her breath. Remus is pretty sure it's something along the lines of  _goddamn teenagers_ and  _deviants_ and  _get out of the phone booth, you perverts_.

"Alright, alright," Sirius says to her, waving her off and disentangling himself from the mess that their limbs have become since he squeezed him way into the phone booth. The old lady shuffles away slowly, throwing them dirty looks over her shoulder every few feet. "Did she loop back just to yell at us, or was she standing there the whole time?"

"I think if she'd been standing there the whole time she probably would've jumped in a lot sooner," Remus replies, watching Sirius get back out of the booth. "Besides, what would she have said, we were on the phone."

"Yeah, of course. Both of us."

Remus opens the door as if to get out, but he stands leaning in the doorway, looking down at Sirius, who seems utterly unaware of the way the moonlight is making him glow. Sirius turns around, seeming to notice Remus looking at him, a quizzical expression on his face. "What?"

He pauses, then before he loses his nerve, blurts out, "I meant what I said earlier. Before I went in the booth, I mean. I know we just met today, but you're fucking beautiful, and god, I'd like to kiss you."

For less than half a second, Sirius' expression doesn't change at all, but then a grin starts at the corner of his mouth and he just says, "Fuck," under his breath before stepping forward and grabbing the front of Remus' sweater, exactly what Remus thought about doing to him earlier, and pulling him into a kiss.

It's harder than Remus thinks Sirius was intending, their mouths colliding a little sharply at first, but he doesn't care. All he can think about is the way Sirius' hand has released from his sweater and is lightly resting on his abdomen, the other hand reaching up to curl in his hair, his mouth gentle and almost cautious, almost as though he doesn't want to push too far, he doesn't want Remus to pull away.

Remus doesn't think he ever wants to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil note from me: so jkr has never specified where the potters lived, where james grew up, etc., so i decided that i wanted to make the potters' (aka fleamont and euphemia) house the same house that james and lily live in with harry when he's a baby. in my lil universe, james inherits this house, along with the family fortune and the invisibility cloak, when his parents die. this is also because i honestly cannot image 21 year old james potter choosing to move to a quiet home in the country just for the hell of it, but rather because it was safe and where he grew up and filled with happy memories. so Long Story Short, the potters' house in this fic is in godric's hollow, and is the same house that harry lived in with his parents when he was a baby.

They finally begin to make their way back to James' house after about fifteen minutes, Sirius breaking the kiss first, leaning back reluctantly, a hand still twisting Remus' curls in his fingers.

He honestly would give anything to be able to stay out here for the rest of the night, but for one, he feels a little guilty for making Peter handle James on his own when he's been drinking, and for another he's pretty sure that the Potters' roof is a better place for them to sneak off to.

"We should get back," he'd whispered to Remus, who'd glanced up at the sky, as if he could tell the time according to the placement of the moon amongst the stars.

"Yeah," Remus had replied quietly, biting his lip like he'd wanted to say something more, but instead watching Sirius step out of the phone booth, following suit after a few seconds. "I'm willing to bet Peter's grumbling about us being gone for this long."

"And I'd say that James is no soberer than he was when we left him."

"I bet he's more drunk."

"Ten Galleons says he's crying about something."

Remus gives him a sidelong look. They've been walking for a little bit, at a much faster pace than they'd set out from James' house to begin with, and they're almost a third of the way back. Sirius has to struggle a little bit to keep up with Remus' long legs; he thinks that the other boy doesn't completely realize how much faster they make him. "That's a fair bit of money, Pads, not sure I'm willing to place it all on the likelihood of James in tears when you've known him for far longer than I have."

Sirius hums in response, skipping ahead a little and turning so that he's facing Remus, walking backwards and keeping pace with him. "How about this -"

"Watch the curb, Sirius -"

"Aw, Moons, you  _do_ care." Remus snorts and tries to add in  _of course I do_ , but Sirius ignores him. "How about this, though. Instead of ten Galleons, if James is crying about something when we get back, you let me take you on a date."

Remus pauses, just completely stops walking, and Sirius almost trips. These two circumstances don't really have anything to do with each other, just a coincidence, but Remus laughs at him anyway. Sirius finds himself automatically smiling in response to the way Remus' eyes light up and how he throws his head back when he has a real laugh, completely the opposite of the way he ducks his head when he has little huffs of amusement at jokes in conversation. The moonlight catches on a scar running across Remus' throat, and maybe this is an inappropriate first reaction to have to a sizeable scar on someone's neck, but the first thought Sirius has is that he wants more than anything to suck a hickey into the place where it runs right along Remus' jaw.

Sirius' attention is drawn back to the conversation when Remus says, "Interesting tactic." He stops, mouth still a little open, but like he's thinking about what to say next. "But I would've just said yes if you'd asked me."

"Oh," Sirius replies, super eloquently, and he tries so damn hard to ignore the way the heat is rising in his stomach and rushing up to his cheeks and god, he wishes that he could act like Remus saying this doesn't have such an effect on him, but it does. Holy  _fuck_ , it does. "Well, uh, in that case, do you -"

"No, no, bets were made, Sirius, you can't back out now. If James is crying, we'll go on a date. If he isn't you owe me ten Galleons, and we'll still go on a date, but you have to pay for it, outside of the ten Galleons. Those I just get to keep."

Sirius rolls his eyes, but he's smiling so much he's sure he looks like an absolute fool, so the effect of conveying his exasperation is a bit ruined. "Fine, I guess that's fair."

"You're so easy."

"Don't expose me like this, Moony, I'm supposed to have a reputation of being hard to get."

Sirius can tell that Remus is stifling a laugh when he replies, "Isn't that because you're a virgin?"

"Yet another exposé, happening right here in the streets of Godric's Hollow! Remus Lupin, you are on  _fire_ tonight!" Remus laughs fully at that, and Sirius doesn't give a fuck about who might hear them on the street, especially the old lady peering out of the window of the cottage that they're passing, he's just captivated by the way Remus is looking at him as though he  _means_ something.

They start walking, shoulders bumping into each other in a mirror of the way they had when they made their trip to the phone booth, but this time it feels gentler, safer, more like home. James' house is at the end of the street, and the closer they get to it, the more Sirius just wants to slow down and spend a little more time with just Remus, just this boy made of moonlight and stars that he wants to kiss until neither of them can breathe anymore.

He doesn't slow them down, though, they keep walking, making their way up the steps and pushing open the front door.

The house seems quiet for a moment, and they exchange a look. Sirius is hyper-aware of their bet.

He jumps a little when Remus suddenly calls, "Honey, I'm home!"

They're greeted with the muffled response of a door slamming and Peter yelling, "Fucking  _finally_! What, did you walk all the way to Australia and back just to make a goddamn phone call?" He appears at the top of the stairs, looking disheveled and slightly wet. "Prongs has been a nightmare, by the way, thanks for your help."

"Is he crying?" Sirius asks as they climb the stairs, trying to keep a level expression on his face. "He always cries when he drinks."

"No, not yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if he started in thirty fucking seconds."

Remus gives Sirius the smuggest grin he's seen since he himself threw one at James the other day, and says, "So I'll take your gold now, or we can go to Gringotts tomorrow before our date."  _Date?_ Peter mouths, looking at Sirius with wide eyes and an expression that denotes pride, but Sirius ignores this.

"Why do I get the feeling you hustled me?"

Remus just raises his eyebrows and says, "That's because I know how the game works, pretty boy," before heading into James' room after Peter. A warm bubble swells in Sirius' chest when he notices that Remus is still wearing his leather jacket.

He stops for a moment before walking in as well, leaning against the doorframe just out of sight to let himself bite his lip and smile at the ground like an idiot. God, he needs to collect himself. From inside the room, he hears Remus tell James, "Hey Jamie, we called Evans, she's coming over. Get your shit together."

Sirius bursts out laughing when he turns to come into the room and sees James lying on the floor, a tear trickling out of his eye.

"So maybe you did win, Pads," Remus says, a little softly, from the other side of the room. He's leaning against the window sill where Sirius had perched earlier, and god, Sirius thinks he's never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire life.

"Of course I won. I would've won either way, I get to go on a date with you."

"Jesus  _fucking_ Christ," Peter mutters, looking between them. "Chill out."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha HI why do I always take thirty years to update this ,, right now my twitter is @jingIebellamy (the l in jingle is an i) so hmu if u wanna yell at me or something

Almost exactly forty-five minutes later, there's a knock on the door downstairs, and James nearly loses his fucking shit.

He's running a constant stream of  _oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god_ under his breath, but he doesn't get up from the floor.

"Good god, Prongs, get your shit together," Sirius says, standing and walking to the door. "You'd think you've never spent more than an hour with Evans before. It's not like you've known her for nearly seven years at this point."

"Hey, cut him some slack, she's never seen his bedroom before," Remus replies, gently nudging James' prone body with his toe from his position on the edge of the bed.

"Has she ever seen him not at school before?"

"Does Diagon Alley count?"

"Barely," Peter adds, standing up and stretching, actin as though he's about thirty-eight years old and has been sitting down in the same position for hours. "I think the last time we saw her there, Jamie was gawking over the new Nimbus in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies and she completely disregarded him."

"I looked like such a fucking  _nerd_ ," James groans from the floor, putting his hands over his face and sticking his fingers underneath his glasses to rub at his eyes, before pushing his hands up into his hair and pulling with exasperation.

"Oh, good, I didn't have to say it this time," Sirius quips, and James reaches behind his head and grabs the shoe nearest to him (Remus') and chucks it at Sirius' head. Much like the stuffed Golden Snitch from earlier, Sirius dodges it easily. "I'm gonna go let her in. Make yourself presentable, Prongsie."

Sirius steps out the door, and Remus doesn't even try to pretend like he isn't watching him leave. He knows that Sirius knows, too, judging from the over-the-shoulder look he throws him, raising his eyebrow in a way that makes Remus immediately want to call him a fucking tease. Within a minute, James is off the floor and darting to the bathroom, the under-breath stream of words having been adapted from  _oh my god_ to  _shit shit shit shit_.

"Now's probably not the best time to take a shit, James!" Peter calls after him, and Remus snorts.

"Fuck off!" James calls from the bathroom. There's a slight pause before he adds, "I'm not taking a shit, it's not my fault I have a nervous bladder!"

"Well, that's a  _great_ way to start the evening," comes Lily's voice from the door, and Remus can't control the giant burst of laughter that explodes out of his mouth.

"Evans is here," Sirius says unnecessarily, gesturing at her vaguely. "And she brought a friend."

"I'm her sister," the girl next to Lily snaps, shooting Sirius a look with surprising hostility.

"My mistake, I should've known there's no other way that Evans would hang out with you," Sirius replies smoothly, flicking his hair out of his eyes without skipping a beat.

"Oh, shit," Peter says quietly from across the room.

"Jesus  _Christ_ , Sirius," Lily sighs in exasperation, taking a long look at the ceiling before turning swiftly and giving him a shove to the shoulder. "Why the fuck did you say that?"

Sirius looks completely unbothered when he replies, "Why the fuck did you bring your sister?"

"Sirius," Remus admonishes, and to his utter surprise, Sirius softens his stance, moving from a position indicative of being ready to fight to one significantly more relaxed. "What's your name?" he asks Lily's sister instead, trying to even out the tension in the room.

She's standing at a distance from Lily, like she doesn't even want to be here herself, and the way that Lily's looking over her shoulder at her sister tells Remus that this wasn't planned. He fucking hates situations like this, when someone comes in and there's a noticeable wave of tension that ripples through the room. He hates them because he's been the center of them far too often, and he supposes that's why he feels like he has to be the one to diffuse the bubbling knot of discomfort bouncing between everyone there.

"Petunia," she replies, meeting his eyes for a second. He distinctly notices her eyeing the scar that runs across the bridge of his nose and onto his left cheek. "Nice to meet you." It doesn't sound like she means that at all. Remus notices Sirius narrowing his eyes at her tone.

"I'm Remus." That's all he says to her before saying, "Hi, Lily."

Lily softens when he speaks to her, giving him a sunny smile and replying, "Hey, Remus. Long time, no see."

"I know; twelve hours is an absolute eternity."

Sirius has already made his way into the room at this point, and he comes and sits down next to Remus -  _right_ next to Remus, whose heart starts beating noticeably faster when the other boy's leg brushes up against his. "Well, to Prongs it is," he says, and Remus turns to look at him. "If he goes a full twelve hours without talking about you, it's a goddamn miracle, Evans."

"Shut up," Lily responds, heading towards the window sill, and unless Remus' eyes are deceiving him, there may be a slight pink tinge hovering on her cheeks.

"Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em."

"And you wonder why nobody  _likes_ you, Black."

"She's got a point," Peter interjects, and Sirius flips him off.

"That's a dirty lie. People love me. I have  _several_ close friends."

"No, you don't, you have two. Two isn't several, two is a couple," Remus replies.

"Two? Only two?" Sirius says, adjusting so that he's facing Remus instead of sitting parallel to him. "Then what are we, Lupin?"

Remus pretends to think for a minute, but really he's almost getting lost in the way the fairy lights strung up around James' room twinkle behind Sirius and make him look like the rosiest, most beautiful boy he's ever seen in his life. "Well, I don't know, but from the way you were acting when we went out to use the phone, I gotta say, I  _really_ hope you don't consider me one of your close friends."

Sirius looks down for a moment, and Remus swears he's never seen eyelashes like that on anyone before.  _It isn't fucking fair_ , he thinks briefly. It isn't fair that Sirius is so attractive. It  _clearly_ gives him an unreasonable advantage in every situation. "But darling, how am I to get to know you if we aren't also friends?"

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

"I'll have you know I've never said that to a girl before in my life."

"Good fucking  _god_ , if you two don't cut the bullshit and control yourselves, I'm kicking you out of the room," Peter interjects, and Remus scoots away from Sirius, who's looking entirely too self-satisfied. At that exact moment, James reopens the door and comes in.

"Hey," he says, trying and failing to sound casual. "Evans," he adds, doing a chin-jerk of greeting towards her.

"Potter," she replies, in a voice that tells Remus, who considers himself extremely adept at being able to read people, that she's attempting the same thing.

"Looks like Moony and Padfoot aren't the only ones who need to cut the bullshit," Peter remarks, almost as though he's narrating the evening, and James shoots him a look.

"Dude, shut up!"

Petunia has taken a seat in the corner by the window, next to Lily. She gives a deep, tragic sigh and looks up at the ceiling, almost in the exact same way that Lily had earlier. "I can't fucking  _believe_ I had to come to this."

"You didn't  _have_ to," Lily replies sharply, and Remus raises his eyebrows.

"Well, I wasn't about to let you go by yourself."

Lily gives her a look of disbelief at that. "Honestly, Petunia, when was the last time I needed you for something? When was the last time you acted like you gave a damn about what I was doing? You're not Mum, stop acting like it."

James very obviously fake-coughs, still standing slightly near the door. He sits down near Peter, running a hand through his hair in a way that Remus has noticed seems to be a bit of a nervous tic he has. "So, uh, Evans, we heard you met Remus earlier today, too."

"What? Oh, yeah," Lily answers, looking at James for half a second before directing her attention to Remus. "London was fun."

Remus wants to reply normally, but Sirius chooses this exact moment to reach out and gently, oh, so gently, run the backs of his slightly curled fingers across the side of Remus' thigh. It's a butterfly touch, one that from the way they're facing, no one else in the room can see, but out of his periphery, Remus can tell that Sirius is pretending like he's very focused on the conversation that's beginning to happen in between everyone in the room, a little smirk hovering around the corner of his mouth.

It makes the butterflies from Sirius' soft touch migrate into Remus' stomach.

"Yeah, we -" Remus is hyper aware of the way his voice seems higher than usual, and clears his throat. "We had a good time."

"We could have had a good time in London," Sirius murmurs, soft enough so that only Remus can hear him, seductive enough that the color Remus turns is so bright that, judging from his expression, Peter notices from across the room.

"Oh my god, Sirius." Across the room, James has taken a cue from their body language and started to exclude them from the conversation, focusing on Lily.

Sirius seems to notice the fading tint on Remus' face then, and leans back a little. "I'm sorry. Do you need me to chill out?"

With a sudden burst of confidence, Remus replies, "How could I ask you to do that when you make me so hot?"

There's a half second of pause before they both burst out laughing, Sirius giggling so hard he leans forward and rests his head against Remus' shoulder for a minute. "Fuck," he says eloquently, and lifts his head just enough to change the angle of it, putting his chin against Remus' shoulder instead.

"'Fuck' is right."

"Well," Sirius begins, looking up at Remus with something in his eyes that seems to be half a content kind of fondness and half an indication of wanting something more, "speaking of fuck."

"What?" Remus asks, dropping his voice, letting it lower to a level that he  _knows_ is doing something, judging from the way Sirius bites his lip. "Do you have some big plans that I don't know about?"

Sirius sits up a little more at that, scooting closer to Remus so that his hands are laced over Remus' shoulder and his mouth is right next to his ear, nose just brushing against his hair. "Why don't we relocate and I'll tell you all about them?"

Remus just barely registers the way Lily meets his eyes from across the room; all he is aware of is the way his skin is thrumming with the energy in Sirius' voice, the way he's breathing both faster and more softly, the way he's never wanted to let someone else be close enough to him that this was even an option.

He's never done this before, never, but god, the way Sirius makes him feel is more than enough to make him want to fumble through it.

Remus manages to get ahold of himself enough to say, "Why don't you show me to your room, then?" and the smile he gets from Sirius in return is more brilliant than all the stars in the night sky.

When they leave the room, Remus is only vaguely aware of Peter pointing at them and saying to James, "See?  _They're_ cutting the bullshit!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was partially just me wanting to show off my knowledge of where sirius (the star) is located in the sky ,,, this is also probably inaccurate since this story is set in the summer and you can really only see orion/sirius in the fall/winter ,, but whatever ,, we r gonna act like we can see it anyway ,, bc who gives a Fuck ,,

Sirius manages to get out of the door to James' room before he realizes that he has no idea what he's fucking doing, and he should probably stop acting like it before he gets way in over his head.

But Remus is right behind him, and oh, god,  _Remus_ is right behind him, and he doesn't want to disappoint that boy more than he wants to spend a minute away from him, and he's honestly surprised that it's only been a day since they met because to him it feels like they've known each other all their lives.

He stops, a few feet from the doorway, taking note of the way that Remus carefully shuts it behind him, making certain that no one inside can see or hear what they may be discussing in the hallway. Before he can think about what it is that he wants to say, he blurts out, "I really want to do  _something_ with you but I don't know what exactly and I don't want to assume you're up for it too and I also have no idea how to do anything that I'm thinking about so I just wanted to get that out of the way before we started anything. Possibly."

Sirius becomes aware that he's speaking extremely quickly, to the level that if he were at home - no, not home, this is home, if he were with his parents,  _no_ ,  _not_ his parents, they're nothing to him anymore, if he were with Orion and Walburga - and speaking that fast he'd receive a reprimand and he told that it's unseemly for him to be so inarticulate.

Remus is just looking at him, though, eyebrows slightly raised, the corner of his mouth gently turned up, as though waiting for Sirius to finish his thought. Sirius had thought he was finished speaking, until he continues, "There, uh, there's a little kind of weird window in my room, though, it looks out onto the backyard and you can see all the stars really well, and, I don't know, you can climb out onto the roof from it, and we could go and look at the stars if you'd like, maybe."

Remus opens his mouth, takes a breath, then shuts his mouth again. He looks as though he's thinking about what it is that he wants to reply, before he opens his mouth again and answers, "I don't think I've heard you speak this quickly all day."

Sirius steps back, just lets himself walk backwards a little until he's leaning against his own bedroom door, directly across the hall from James', right thumb tucked in the pocket of his jeans, left picking worryingly at a cuticle sticking up on his middle finger. "I talk faster when I'm nervous," he replies, and he's surprised at his own voice, how soft and fucking honest it sounds.

It's true, though. Maybe that's why James could barely understand him the first time that they met.

"I'd love to look at the stars with you," Remus says, and Sirius reaches behind himself to open the door.

He doesn't think for a minute, that he's about to let a boy he's interested in into his bedroom, that he has no idea what the state of the room is, that he hasn't really been in here at all since summer holidays started, and he  _certainly_ hasn't been in here since he threw the last of his shit from Orion and Walburga's house earlier today. That had been kind of a haphazard toss, anyway, one that he'd paid no mind to, since he'd been more concerned with getting everyone herded into James' room so that they could drink and James could inevitably grill Remus for information about Lily.

Offhand, he wonders what's going on in James' room. He's immediately brought back to the present by the realization that Remus is getting a super vulnerable insight into Sirius as a whole.

Sirius takes note of the things that seem to grab Remus' attention, from the cluster of paper cranes hanging from the ceiling to the hastily sketched schematics of his bike in the corner to the turntable and stacks of records by the window to the small collection of Polaroids - mostly of the sky, or of James and Peter, or of little corners of Hogwarts that had caught his eye - pinned up by his bed. He watches Remus' expression as he looks around, wanting to say something, to apologize for the state of his room - even though there's really nothing to apologize for - to ease the transition from before he opened the door and let himself from before he opened the door and let himself and the space where he feels the safest to be seen by someone other than James.

All Remus says is, "I like it," before walking over to the window and peering out of the glass.

"Thanks," Sirius hears himself reply, and he hustles over the the window to look outside as well. "Do you want to -"

"Oh. Yeah."

He opens the window and they clamber out onto the edge of the roof, and for the millionth time since he moved in with the Potters, he thanks any gods that may or may not exist that he was given the room with the view. There's something comforting in being able to see the cosmos like this, to be able to feel so vastly small in comparison to the universe, and yet to be able to feel so much a part of it. He's always thought that. Maybe that's something that has to do with the familial fascination with constellations, but Sirius has always been able to find comfort in the stars.

They sit there on the roof for a moment, not speaking. Remus is leaning against the window frame, his knees tucked in close to his chest, with his arms wrapped around them. The moonlight is surprisingly bright for being only a sliver in the night sky, and Sirius swears that Remus is fucking glowing with it, like it's soaking into his pores and filling him with a luminous and gentle shine.

He tries and fails to focus his attention on the night sky.

Remus breaks the silence first, asking, "So, which one are you?"

Sirius has to clear his throat before answering. "Sorry, what?"

"Which one are you? I mean. I know Sirius is a star, I just don't know which one."

"Oh, um -" Sirius pauses for a moment, trying to locate himself in the sky. "See those three in a diagonal, right there?"

"Yeah, I think?"

"Right where I'm pointing, look," Sirius reaches out and directs Remus' hand so that they're pointing in the same spot, "those three, they form the belt of Orion. If you look around them, in a kind of rectangle, those are supposed to form the top and bottom of his tunic, I guess. And then," he continues, guiding Remus' hand down so that they're both directed at a particularly bright star, "that one, in a straight line down from the belt, the really bright one, that's Sirius."

Sirius is extremely aware of how close he's sitting to Remus, and how when Remus turns to meet his eyes while asking a question, their noses are almost touching. "What's the story?"

"You're smart, don't act like you don't already know this."

"I like to hear you talk about it."

Sirius almost chokes, but instead he starts speaking. "Uh, well, Sirius was Orion's dog. Orion was some big hunter, I don't really remember the story exactly, but Sirius was supposed to be super faithful to his master, following him even in death, et cetera, et cetera."

Remus' eyebrows drop a little at something that Sirius said, and he's not really sure what would evoke this reaction until Remus asks, "Do I hear a little bitterness centered around that story?"

"No, I. Not really. I don't think so, I mean."

"Don't lie."

Sirius sighs, looking up at the sky and letting the telltale constellation catch his eye for a moment before answering. "My dad's name is Orion. They probably named me Sirius because of the massive expectations that they had for me."

"Ah," Remus says softly, nudging Sirius gently with his elbow. "Heir to the Black family name and fortune, right? You have to be  _fancy_."

"I mean, they also want me to be racist and straight, so fancy is the least of my concerns."

"They sit in silence for a minute, looking at the sky, and Sirius lets his mind go blank for a minute except for how singularly luminescent Remus looks in the moonlight.

"That sounds like fucking  _shit,_ Pads," Remus says, eyes fixed on the moon. "I don't think my parents have expectations anywhere near that for me. I mean, they're just trying to get me to live to adulthood, honestly."

Sirius leans forward at that, trying to meet Remus' eyes. The other boy flicks his eyes over to him, and Sirius raises his eyebrows. After a moment, Remus elaborates.

"I mean, I guess I should tell you. We already made out, it's not like we're strangers."

"Is this about what you said earlier, about how you're sick? And how you can't go to Hogwarts because of it?" Sirius asks softly.

"Yeah." Remus clears his throat, making a face that looks like he's steeling himself for an impossibly difficult confession. "Okay. So, technically it's like a sickness, but it's not. Normal, I guess."

"Do you want me to guess?"

"Shut up," Remus replies, but Sirius can see the corner of his mouth curling up, so he's not really concerned about being too insensitive. "I can tell you."

"Do it."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?"

"Well, judging from the way you're leaning into me, I'd say you're attempting to seduce me, Lupin."

"That's not exactly difficult to do, Black."

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

Remus pushes back from him at that, not sharply, but in a cautious manner, as though he's worried about what he says next having an impact on how close Sirius wants to be to him. He opens his mouth, pauses, closes it, and then, as though he's trying to rush it out before he loses his nerve, blurts, "I got bitten by a werewolf when I was four. That's why I can't go to Hogwarts, my parents didn't want an accident to happen when I was around a lot of other people."

Sirius pauses for half a second, and the reaction that he has at first is actually one of relief. He doesn't mean to articulate exactly that, but before he can fully process what he's saying, he's blurting out, "Oh, thank god, I thought you were going to say that you were a murderer or something."

Remus lets out a little burst of laughter, immediately followed by, "Sirius, you fucking idiot, what does being a murderer have to do with sickness? Why would I make  _that_ connection?"

"I don't know, I assumed the worst!"

Remus bites his lower lip then, and Sirius' eyes are immediately drawn to that tiny, infinitesimal movement. "And being a werewolf isn't the worst?"

He says it in a light enough tone, but Sirius can tell that there's a sincerity in his eyes. Remus is still sitting in a guarded position, his arms still locked around his tucked in legs, caging them in, with his fingers tighter than the looser posture that his arms are in. Sirius doesn't reach out - the way that they're sitting next to each other would make that a bit redundant - but he does lean in a bit closer, feeling slightly emboldened by the sheer level of trust that Remus has placed in him just now.

"Absolutely not," he answers, and the look that Remus gives him makes his heart feel like it's soaring up to rest in the base of his throat. "Although I have to say, I can't  _fucking_ believe that you didn't originally know you were destined for this, like, from birth."

Remus scrunches up his eyebrows at that and says, "What are you talking about?"

"Babe, your name is  _Remus Lupin_ , your parents pretty much named you Werewolf McWerewolf and were still somehow surprised when this happened? Talk about foreshadowing."

"Fuck off," Remus replies, but he's laughing, a real laugh that has him throwing back his head a little, the natural lights of the night sky illuminating him and making Sirius want to kiss him more than ever before, yet he's frozen, his captivation with the boy in front of him leaving him breathless. "You're terrible."

"You're beautiful," Sirius replies, and he's caught off guard by the level of honesty in his voice. From what he can see, Remus is too, and he visibly softens at Sirius' statement.

"Sirius -" Remus begins, but before he can get anything else out, there's a crash from inside and what sounds like James shouting.

"Oh, fuck," Sirius mutters, and with a quick glance at Remus, he swings his legs inside the window and hops back into the house. "We should probably go see what that's about."

"Is there a chance that we can just let them sort it out for themselves?" Remus asks, in a tone that indicates that he already knows the answer, while making his way inside as well.

There's a bang, followed by another shout from James, this time sounding specifically like the word  _fuck_.

"Apparently not," Sirius answers, and Remus huffs a little laugh.


End file.
